I was in a yoga class a few weeks ago when my teacher asked 'What if we trusted ourselves and our own experiences to use our voice, rather than trust that someone else's experience and voice weighs greater?'
This made me smile, I deeply felt what he said. Immediately, I thought of using my voice and expressing my needs. Actually, what I thought of was how not using my voice and/or expressing my needs was what has had the most presence in my life. For years, it felt like this huge hurdle that I could not get over. This is still something that I'm sensitive to and will catch myself encountering those blockages. When those blockages come up, I remind myself that this is all practice not perfection (hi perfectionist side). When I wasn't expressing my needs; I was being agreeable, saying 'yes' when I wanted to say 'no', being a people-pleaser, not using my voice, and trusting others' words over my own. Sounds exhausting, right?
While I was going through my coach training program, my teacher asked us about our relationship to expressing our needs. I got silent and felt my stomach drop. This was something I wasn't doing. I wasn't practicing it. I was trying to bypass it which was leading to more stress than if I actually just expressed myself. I knew this needed to shift. I needed to practice saying what I needed and I needed to use my voice.
The first thing was to get clear on what my needs were in all areas of my life (self-care, friendships, romantic partnerships, family relationships, finances, career, etc..). After that, I started to check-in with myself throughout my day. Throughout my conversations with other individuals, I would ask myself; 'did you get what you needed..' 'do you need to go back and revisit that conversation..' 'is there anything that you feel needs to be added..' This helped significantly with getting clear on my needs. Having clarity around my needs has made the whole expressing part have much more flow.
Expressing myself in the moment and using my voice is a constant practice that I have in my life. Like anything else, it's something that takes time to nurture and grow. As I commit to practicing this, it gets easier with time and I acknowledge myself for using my voice.
What becomes possible when you express your needs? Tell me about it if this resonates.
Today I acknowledge you for listening to yourself, for using your voice and expressing your needs.